I have a million and two things to do..OK maybe not THAT many, but pretty close.
I know that I am not the only one that feels this way, I look around at my friends while we sit at the park (or any other kid activity) and I know a million and two to-do’s are running through their minds. It’s a perpetual to-do list, like credits in a movie that never ever ends!
Just thinking about the perpetual list is exhausting and the worst thing is that you NEVER feel caught up, when you’ve crossed off a couple things, a few more pop up.
I’m a list maker, I always have been. When I was planning my wedding I actually made a list of lists to make!! Thankfully my fiancé still decided to marry me. I am also the type that needs to physically cross out the to-do’s on my to-do list.
Several months ago things got really bad with my list making. Less and less things were being crossed off and because of that I was feeling like a failure more and more. If I had forgotten to take dinner out of the freezer, I had failed that day as a homemaker. If I didn’t get around to doing school or running an errand, I had failed. If I was too tired to pick up or mop the floor that day, I had failed. The list goes on, I graded myself by how many to do’s were crossed off and most days I was failing.
I noticed I was becoming increasingly overwhelmed, discontent and unhappy. One night after another big F day I cried out to God in desperation. In my quest to get it done, I had lost sight of who I was and what my role was. I had lost all joy and peace because I was striving to live up to something I wasn’t required to. I was measuring my successes as a mom, wife, homemaker and friend by the number of check marks next to my task not by how God saw me or required of me. God gently reminded me of who I was in him and that everyday regardless of what I do or don’t do I always get an A in his book.
After the bathroom floor encounter I went several months without writing a to-do list. It was therapeutic. I developed a new system that began working even better right away. Each morning or the night before I would choose 1-2 top priorities for the day. These were top priorities that needed to be done, aside from the everyday tasks like cooking and caring for children. Once these were completed I was free to work on other things or nothing at all that day except enjoy life if I chose to. I noticed I was getting more accomplished each day without the pressure and guilt.
A few new things have been added to my life’s plate and I once again find myself wanting to take out the grade book at the end of the day. Like that encounter several months back I need to remind myself of who I am, and who you are in Christ;
I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3)
- I am the apple of his eye (Proverbs 7:2)
- I am carried through every storm (Mark 4:35-41)
- I am watched over day and night (Psalm 121:1-8)
- I am created for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)
- I am rejoiced over with singing (Zephaniah 3:17)
- I am given grace for all seasons (2 Corinthians 12:9)
- I am thought well of (Jeremiah 29:11)
- I am understood and forgiven (1 John 1:9)
I link up with; The Better Mom, A Mama’s Story, What joy is mine, The Modest Mom, 1+1+1=1, From my mountain view, Hip Homeschool Moms, A Pause on the Path, Time Warp Wife, Lessons from Ivy, Heavenly Homemakers, Above Rubies, Homeschool Creations, In Lieu of Preschool,Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers, Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling, Sam’s Noggin, A Holy Experience, A Wise Women Builds Her Home, Our Simple Country Life, Your Thriving Family, Beholding Glory, Homemaker By Choice.